走心

心痛呀我對腳掌

They hurt my soles and want to steal my soul.

花生

花師奶個老公

花木蘭個老豆

私勞

當我入不枯枝嘅時候。。。

當咩炙，妳日日都入不敷支嫁啦! 零收入又要衣食住行，有咩可能敷支炙？

。。。就俾人鬧到變枯枝。。。

When my income is way under my expenses.......

Why do you even say when? Your income is always under your expenses! Zero income! Can your expense be a negative number?

...I always have no income so I am always not welcomed...

绑死

大麻繩

大麻成

Poddy Chained

聖潔

我12歲開始流咗33年血都洗唔乾淨，12歲嗰個暑假耶穌為我流嘅寶血永恆咁洗到乾乾淨淨。

I have been bleeding for 33 years since I was 12, it has not cleansed enough. The summer holidays when I was 12, Jesus's Blood has cleansed and sterilized me from the inside out, until eternity.

過身

我呢度紅水泛濫呀! 聖約失你快啲嚟打夠我啦!

My downstairs is bloody flooding! Please save me, Saint Joe Sieve!

吱吱

The Mouse Raps

隻蒼鼠鼠咗出嚟呀!

入叉

你哋要聽曬我話

因為我有法令紋 

I am the bald

I am the law

西施

愛是恆久忍耐

Aesthetic Anesthetic

工程

來隆去癦

塊扒好得

Aesthetic Engineering

棄具

Toy Story 1 2 3 Four ME

謝咗

當翻工已成往事

我自己冇得話事

Since I am unemployed

I am basically just a toy

正常

人人翻工翻學

我就反眼翻瞓

All are going to work and school

As  I  am  going to bed and sleep

麵指

當麵粉公仔由佢整 

街邊檔都價值連城

The flour dough sculptures are his masterpieces while he is also our Heavenly Father's masterpiece.

懵丙

呀。。。呀。。要爭取快樂。。。。。。。呀。。。呀。。要爭取快樂。。。。。。。

妳巳令我。。太快樂過。。這快樂會留下痛楚。。。心中已知已早知錯的是我。應知愛戀没有結果。。。妳接受我燃亮我心中愛火，可知背後我極傻。。
我拍住心口。。不可不可再失敗。。。老虎都要得嘅得嘅得嘅得嘅一定得
遠遠望妳。。帶笑渡過。。我意會到明白到不可結果。。妳接受我。。妳拒絕我。。我也願意長為妳唱。戀。之歌。。。
唉。嘥氣。。。。。

神刀

今日流着熱血咁搬搬抬抬，走走趯趯都冇暴斃，睇嚟在下都尚有一把寶刀，喺阿上帝大神佢磨利的。

損手

They participate in Olympic

I participate in, Oh, limping

賊父

小人偷金

大人偷金

認賊作父

後果自負

撐你

善良嘅Calvin

Is Calvin really that kind?

漿爆

妒忌的女子 = 忌女 = 鷄
男人嘅妒忌 = 男忌 = 鴨

想香

I want to change the Channel to Chanel but I cannot because I am low on juice.

黑痛

出翻嚟行就梗喺要冒吓險嫁啦，受少少痛楚算得啲乜炙!

You have to prepare to take risks when you join the gang again. What is the big deal about a little pain?

直覺

九十度同一百八十度嘅分别喺痛同埋唔痛。

The difference between 90 degree and 180 degree is painful and not painful.

避梯

I am the founder of Wheelchair Access

俾人屈就梗喺痛嫁啦!

追仔

俾人捉住隻痛腳整到我連追男仔都追唔到，仲想話臨老入草叢添。

They are pulling my leg so I cannot chase after guys. I want to get pregnant and have babies.

顧家

我冇出嚟行好耐嘞!
I have not been a gangster for a very long time, let's say almost 45 years.

靈食

請我食飯又玩踐踏

聖靈感動漂亮回答

充饑

燒鵝瀨

論成敗

Snore

好眼瞓

Very Sleepy 

RM

Ricky Martan was climbing Rocky Mountain yesterday.

SnoM

我塊二頭肌，火腿繩同埋Pineapple lid 都有疼痛嘅感覺，有畜已傷害我人身體。

了咗

異氣聞寃不易散，篤撐， 瘋愚一味連累，篤撐，塞。青。山。撐撐撐撐撐撐撐。。。。。。。

決吻

既然駁嘴喺罪，即喺唔俾人kiss啦，咁我唯有自吻而死啦!

If you do not have anybody kissing you, don't worry, just kiss your lower lip with your upper lip. Problem solved.

心斜

有啲人心術不正，做咩都堅持要偏埋一便。

Our hearts are biologically leaning to the left. That is right, you have to have the right heart.

震震

If you want to feel insecured, try climbing up a not so tall ladder to reach a very high place.
光管腳就見得多嘞，有毛嘅，光管就第一次換，腳軟嘅。

管我

2020年7月25日是在下生平首次破天荒。。。換光管，由西人(高檔啲因為愛廸生喺西人)直接用無語(Mute咗)教授。不過可惜好景不常，另一條尋日仲好哋哋嘅燒到兩頭黑曬，仲閃閃吓添，睇嚟佢都命不久矣嫁嘞。

July 25, 2020 is my special day, because it is my very first time to light a.......fluorescent light, taught directly by a native English speaker (more original because Thomas Edison was an American) speechlessly (because I muted him). However, I think the other one may have been blown. It was working fine last night but it is flickering now and the two ends are black.

賴死

臨死前拿拿聲影多幾張selfie，等整車頭相時有多啲選擇吖嘛，如果唔喺個死樣好難睇嫁!

Exselfie!  Since I am not dead yet, may I take more selfies please? Or else the dead photo will be too ugly on my funeral!

麥兜

Once upon a time, McDonald，Madonna  and Mcdonghung opened a family restaurant called McDonald's. These three siblings lived happily ever after since.

從前，麥當勞叔叔，麥當娜和麥當雄幾兄妹開了一間麥當勞快餐店，從此之後，他們便快快樂地生活下去了。

試鍊

點解人生要經歷咁多苦難嫁呢？淨喺扣粒钮都經過重重波折，幾終於扣到嘞，又連呼吸同消化都有困難。

Why do I experience so many tribulations? I have been having trials after trials just to button up. Finally I have buttoned up, now I am having problems breathing and digesting.

衡量

They hang over their business for several hundred dollars.

功能

陳慧琳特效潤膚露止咳真喺好

聖人

好多時鍾意見到一啲又爛又舊又差嘅嘢變到又新又靚又好，因為我以前都喺前者，但喺耶穌嘅出現，我已經冇咁爛嘞，爛爛哋咁啦，翻新過程進行中。

I like to see the transformations of things from old, broken, low qualitied to new, intact, high qualitied ones, because that process is just like my life because of Jesus Christ. Now I am not that broken anymore, just broken a little bit. I am still under construction though.

澳B

唔雪都保持新鮮

我哋啜定好多嫁

澳洲保你大人奶

百分之百純人奶

Vita

唯有她的奶是最好喝的

Mom, I miss you.......r milk!

揀料

為可樂而不維他奶呢？

餵植

其實做植物人都幾好吖，潛水又唔洗戴氧氣筒，又唔洗晒錢買嘢食。

It is pretty good to be a vegetable, you can scuba dive without an oxygen tank and there is no need to spend money on food.

口氣

八段咁。

即喺點呀？

Biochemical Weapon.

Brush?  Rinse?  None!

計私

室內至計

室外唔計

In Terror Da Sign

香港

麻煩你將你臀部嘅肌肉輕微收缩一吓。。。喺嘞。。。终於過到。。。辛苦曬。

Could you slightly contract your gluteus maximus please....yes just like that....finally I can squeeze through....thank you for your cooperation.

瞓未

尋日飲完檸檬茶又再飲檸檬茶又再飲奶茶，攪到我啲基因變曬咖啡因，因此本人決定暫時茶封，以解決眠未之急。

慶定

慶節美食 = 節食

本人正在節食以慶祝聖誕及新春

I am Dieating for Christmas and Lunar New Year. 

加大

因受到身形壯觀病毒感染，我需要大量嘅食物嚟增强免疫系統用以對抗病毒加速痊癒。

Because I have been infected by the Calorievirus, I need to consume an extremely high quantity of food in order to accelerate my recovery by boosting the immune system to fight against the virus.

名菜

梅栗子菜甫

雪中散先散

裁圓

天生裁我必有用？

千金散盡怎覆來？
Let me go?
Money goes!
Money comes.......NOT!

猛禱

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving me a decent place to stay. I pray that You will protect me and all my belongings You have blessed me with so that no one can steal, kill, damage nor destroy any of us. Please guard
this place so that no one can come in here without my consent. Please also fill this place with Your Holy Spirit and cast out and away all evil spirits. Please make me and this place holy for You and You only. Please also eliminate psychotronic weapons in my life and from the universe. In Jesus Christ Mighty Name I pray. Amen.

Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, please pray for me and agree with my prayers. Thank you and God bless.

雞康

一流一大鳳

走地低肥種

The very good chicken

Free range nonfattened

免費

到底高山劇場喺邊度做劇嫁？點解我望嚟望去都望唔到嫁呢？

戲薄

我嚮高山劇場患上高山症，真喺一山還有一山高嘞!

Stage Fright

温暖

噏乜春呀你？

What spring are you talking about?

歌劇

我去高山劇場。。。唱山歌

高山of The Opera

唔靚

電視喺攞嚟睇嘅，咁電視機喺攞嚟做咩嫁呢？

I know that we watch TV, but what are we supposed to do with a TV set?

馬槽

一揭開張牀單，先記得原來我同阿Lisa姐您孖鋪咗將近兩年，辛苦曬!

Line1

底褲檸檬茶請聽電話

Where is my lemon tea?

Under the phone.

亂倫

個麻甩佬以為我鍾意我細佬，識咗幾廿年，佢一出世就被迫做一家人，點Fing都Fing唔甩，唔鍾意佢唔通鍾意你咩，阿麻生。

扮細

All adults are evil, like adult movies, adulterated food and adultery. Why do the society and our parents want us to grow up then? Does it mean they want us to be as evil as them?

接受

大人的話 = 大話

Every Adult Lies

細個

其實。。。 山林道呢，佢哋又冇山又冇樹林，咁即喺咩意思呀？啲大人喺咪講大話呀？咁住高山道呢，算唔算住半山區呀？要上斜嫁噃! 仲有木屋區呢，都喺嚮半山嫁噃! 咁即喺半山區啦! 咁。。。外國啲花園毒辣屋呢？全部都喺用木起嫁噃! 咁嗰啲喺咪叫木屋區呀？吓？點解啲西人咁有錢住木屋區，窮人住食屎屋區呀？吓? 乜食屎屋區唔喺冇咁易冧嫁咩？我唔明白呀!

多餘

The psychotronic attackers kept shaking my head when I was sleeping. I think they are trying to hurt my brain. They even used excuse like they are trying to wake me up to do something while I already set my alarm clock and it is not even the time yet. They are trying to pretend to help me while for real they are hurting my body and my life. Earlier today this other girl who often came in to steal and damage my stuff screamed out loud outside of my door saying 'I already got your key.'

腦殘

The Psychotronic Weapon has been hurting my left knee, hip and thigh since this morning. I guess they are not satisfied with injuring only my right knee with their buddies (people around me), they want both of my legs to be unable to walk. They are not only trying to ruin my career, they are trying to ruin my life and make me handicapped so I cannot even enjoy my life. God has made me so healthy that they are jealous.

健康並唔喺必然嫁，尤其喺有精神電子武器存在嘅世界裡面。呢個世界已經有好多受緊苦等待治療或正在療程當中甚至患上絕症接近絕望嘅病人，呢啲電子襲擊者仍然繼續百上加斤，仲拉攏更多嘅人加入佢哋嘅行列，合作害人。唔知受害人幾時輪到佢自己同佢啲屋企人呢？

塞聲

我現時最叻喺毒唱

I am a Poisolosonist

咀咒

冠狀病毒死全家

Coronavirus, you and your whole family die.

沈實

I have PVDS from PTWA

I have Premature Voice Deepening Syndrome from Psychotronic Weapon Attacks.

我因精神電子武器襲擊而患上咗聲線早沈症

The Evidence 證據確鑿

獸慾

不分青紅蘿蔔

They have gotten so much educations and they cannot think independently to tell right from wrong but blindly follow their sinful natures and do what other people tell them to do. Use the organ between your two ears, kiddo! You not only do not contribute, you destroy and bring negative impacts to the society! What a waste of the taxpayers' and your parents' money for your educations. Read the Bible and pray in Christ's Name. He will help you out!

炒蛋

好在我呢幾日唔洗考試，唔喺就大鑊喇!

Scramble eggs are my favorite these several day because...I am hungry!

填罅

There is a big gap between my left part and my right part.

我條界好空虚

三毛

我需要生髮水同生發水同生法水

I lack hair, money and knowledge

稀有

好稀薄呀。。。。。。。我啲頭髮

So thin............my hair

擋賤

成日揾人做擋箭牌，抵妳死嘅!

They have been the shields if my life! I deserve them.

加圓

我個身體好扎膝嫁。

I em....am bracing my knee.

爛蓆

點解我張牀單會起毛頭嘅？一定喺個洗衣機嘅問題。

Why is my bed sheet pilling? It must be the washing machine, it makes me sleep-in everyday using the white noise.

龜公

其實點解要釣金龜呢？雖然長命嗟，但喺咁醜樣，個殼又頂住，想攬吓都唔得。

消暑

Chicken Sashimi Popsicle

鷄刺身雪條

大偷

你哋成日偷我啲錢同財物同攪破壞，仲蓄意傷人，咁我最少一共八十萬大元嘅學費喺咪你哋連本帶利咁幫我交炙，吓？喺咪你哋偷我錢仲要我好似唉契弟咁唉你哋炙，吓？你哋知道我冇咗啲嘢要用錢買過咖可？你知道蓄意傷害他人身體要賠湯藥費同坐監咖可？仲有我執你爛攤子啲人工同買料錢呢？咁即喺間接偷錢啦！幾時還炙，吓？還七倍噃！記得噃！

光暗

我喺江湖被打同滾動咗咁多年，深深體會到當年蔡楓華講嘅嘢喺幾咁有智慧。

愛己

女為悅己者容，我成日都照鏡嫁，然後對住佢講我愛妳!
Narcissistic Mirror, Camera, Computer or Whatever

Nope

Do you want to have a glass of whine?

頂膜

唔知如果食咗比個胃更大嘅嘢會點呢？

好似我宜家咁囉。有啲唞唔到氣，URK！

 What if I eat something that's bigger than my stomach?

You'll be just like me right now. I can't breath, URK!

 

錫女

其實食瓜子洗咩剝殼咁辛苦炙，攪到條脷都損埋，食西瓜咪得囉，仲可以幫你消暑解喝添！咁以後農曆新年你知點做啦！不過我又唔明，又話新年流流要好意頭，瓜子瓜子咁，連個仔都瓜埋，我啋！大吉利是！

太極

一個大西瓜切開一半
 呢便俾我   呢便俾我

'Be Water.....melon, I'm Bruised, Bruised Knee'

裁華

田持人= 田地持有人

填辭人= 填完表走人

We are farmers, bum balum bum bum bum bum

填詞

痾相食嘢啦啦啦 喇喇喇 喇啦啦

m  r  d  r  m m m   r   r   r   m  s  s
痾相食嘢啦啦啦 喇喇啦喇拿

m  r  d  r  m m m   r  r  m  r  d

快餐

想啲肉快啲解凍？將包凍肉擗嚮街，點止解凍呀，解決埋都得，唔洗你𡁻得咁辛苦，仲慳翻啲時間添。

Want to quickly defrost your meat? Just throw the pack of frozen meat on the street, not only it helps with the defrosting process, it even helps with time-saving and reduces the risk of tiring your jaws out.

岳冇

如果當年已經用緊簡體字，咁阿飛哥就唔會痛到飛起，佢亦都唔會因為呢個童年陰影攪到考試全部唔合格，佢啲頭髮亦唔會咁騮同提早美白，而阿飛哥佢成長後亦唔會咁忠直忠心攪到俾奸人害英年早逝啦，唉！阿老婆個老母妳點做嘢嫁，用毛筆喺咁倚檜吓畫吓咪算囉，刺乜鬼嘢炙，仲要繁體字咁多筆劃，攪到個仔流咁多血，我未講完呀，妳教個仔咁忠心做咩炙，召佢就要翻㗎喇咩？呢啲死蠢皇帝，死12個當一打啦! 之後仲攪到阿飛哥含冤而死，妳唔心痛嫁咩？
被蛀：此乃家傳户曉嘅經典歷史個案《賴媽宋死》

重點

五智鈣啲肛嘅POINT時，懈五懈鈣加懈我生私樣哥啲大大粒擘呢，於戈懈嘲妖雁太啦嘩，中妖爭棉啲擘呢？我吊鈣撓尾。
Five wisdom calcium butt points, relax five relax calcium me live private face brother big big splits, something something relax mock monster wild goose wife, middle monster fights cotton split? I hang calcium scoop tail.

借口

我今日淋花時見到啱啱開朵花嘅花辦俾搣剩最外層嗰四塊，之前幾朵花離奇失蹤，俾人整乾晒再離奇出現嚮我屋企裏面，仲有五盤植物突然死亡。我又聽到樓上2OD住客嘅對話

女:宜家喺人都知你拉傷佢條筋喇!

男:鬼叫佢串我哋牙，偷埋佢啲錢等佢冇錢用。整傷埋你等你搬唔到。

我開始將佢哋兩位所講嘅嘢記錄喺個Blog度，個男嘅即刻話"大鑊"。咁我事實上真喺唔見咗20000多蚊錢同財物，鍾意嘅嘢同食物俾人破壞同偷走，牆角俾人破壞，門俾人刮花，膝頭屈起用力時會痛。 有朝起身，我用嚟勾住露台門嘅遮柄斷咗，大脾膝頭對上瘀咗。唔知喺吻合定巧合呢？ 但喺我從來都冇同佢哋講嘢，連佢哋個樣都唔知喺點，嗰啲串唔知喺邊度嚟咖呢？我個袋俾人整爛咗，個男嘅仲同個女講好彩得妳炙咁。我話享受面前嘅嘢，佢即刻嚮樓上玩電鑽，仲成日大叫話"等我搶咗你先"，佢攞嘅時候我唔知，即喺偷，即喺要賠七倍，仲有湯藥費七倍，如果呢個膝傷喺永久性，佢哋要賠七倍我因膝傷而做唔到所失去嘅嘢同永久湯藥費，仲有偷咗嘅錢，全部七倍奉還，最好坐埋監添，唔洗累人累物，危害社會安寧。跟住電子精神武器有把聲話"they're trying to prove your point, it's obvious". 成日都喺咁講，即喺話佢哋喺度證明我所講嘅喺事實。好似我未投訴之前佢哋己經做緊啲衰嘢咖喇噃，證明乜狠嘢呢？根本就喺度互相包庇掩飾，撒旦嘅馬仔伙伴一齊做壞事。

衛身

Air It Out

冇咁臭

揾人

Have you found it yet, founder?

CFO= Chief Finding Officer

唔敢

以後唔好再話人哋挑起你條筋喇，好驟忌。

傷殘

啲衰嘢成日搞我菠蘿蓋。。。條筋，搞到我痛不慾身。

The attackers have been hurting the tendons and/or ligaments on my knees. I guess they do not want me to be free. The injuries are possibly from the psychotronic weapons or just people around me.

腦細

好心你拿拿聲揾工啦!又話等錢洗!攞啲舊木板出嚟搞做乜炙？

做老板。
Hugo Boss and Bossini? Why did you buy so many of them? They're expensive, man! And you, are unemployed!!!
Stop judging me! I want to be the boss! 

冚家

防地鏟市場

The Shovel Defense Market

真經

經紀驚己

Real Realtor

自隊

喺咁請自己飲檸檬

I have been feeding myself so much lemons that now I am sour.

不保

史提反死得早
Steven has been making good movies because Stephen had been moved physically

澱氣

因為我窮狂踭澱粉質充饑，再加上啲人害到我谷住道氣，搞到我做咗屎谷同學咁多年，我細佬仲叫我豁出去，我連出都出唔到，點豁呀？

I have been filling my stomach with carbohydrates, plus all the cunning schemes against me I cannot vent out all I hate, the fat depressed gases accumulate in my body so for years I cannot keep my studies up to date, my bro wants me to let things go even after hundreds of thousands of dollars I have already paid, now my finances, academics and careers are so stuck and constipated, failure for the rest of my life is probably my only fate.

餡靚

個Commedian話:「咦! 好衰嫁! 做咩笑人哋噃!.....笑夠未呀？你哋識唔識得尊重人嫁？......有咩咁好笑炙？好停喇喎，一個人容忍喺有限度嫁噃.....」 然後掟咪仲發曬脾四紅都面曬咁衝咗入後台。啲觀眾結果喺台上冇人嘅情況下再不停咁喪笑多個鯪兩個鐘直至散場。

The comedian said,'You guys are rude! Stop laughing at me! That's not funny!....Can you jerks show some respects?..... ,'  Then his whole face turned red, he started tearing up and rushed backstage. The audiences ended up laughing for another two hours non-stop until the end of the show with nobody on stage.

Amen

姑婆要改做姑娘，嘅善良又有十個口，有絕對嘅能力咬死或鬧死你，單身女性之間要互相照應，正所謂團結就是食量。仲有我哋唔嫁喺自選動作，難度5.0，向前轉體三周半向後轉體四周半向外翻騰五周半再向內翻騰六周半然後插水仲要一啲水花都冇，你哋啲男人做唔到嫁嘞! 仲有剩女嗰啲Term唔該改一改叫盛女，興盛盛放嘅女子，生命精釆唔受男人虐束，講完。

Single ladies have to support one another
We are single by choice and not left over
All men need us ladies to be their lovers
Or else they are going to be game over
We have the abilities to screw men over
And we do not need men to live forever
God is the kingdom power and glory forever

姑屋

Husbanned

梳乜鬼起炙，剪短佢咪得囉，曬曬啲洗喉水!

公事

毛公仔就有嘞，老公仔就未到手，唔知邊度有得賣呢？

扯，想佢老之嘛，你剃咗佢啲毛，再揸皺佢咪得囉，洗咩買炙，唔剃毛都得，好似wowo咁，摸上手又施酷又保暖，又唔會同你嗌交又專一，好過嗰隻麻甩牌鞋烚烚又臭又剩咁，對得多都俾佢啲臭狐傳染呀!

洗唔洗咁踩法呀，知妳有毒。。。獨身恩賜喇!
In conclusion, a Husky is always better than a Husband. 

咁早?

What's my dream? How am I supposed to know? You don't even let me sleep!

我有咩夢想？乜夢有得想嫁咩？咁筍？

腦千

其實憑感覺做人都幾好吖

橫掂我乜都冇 至少感覺良好
I have nothing
but good feelings
when I trick my brain

華倩

劉朱聯婚，留住婚姻，幾美滿!

明星

If you continue to treat me like this I am going to pull the trigger .......of my anger and Send Ya Bullets!

搶嘢

我要求天長地久，你迫我曾經擁有。點解你哋會咁狗？我勸你即刻自首!

I want that to last for a life time 

Now it lasts for only a short time

I hate you even it does not rhyme You all deserve to serve your time

服曬

某知名人仕話：「我嗰陣時當咗佢喺我女朋友嫁喇，但喺佢唔鍾意我我都冇辦法㗎。」

呢啲咪叫謙卑囉！佩服！佩服！好過有啲人死撐死要面仲破壞自己得唔到嘅嘢，簡直就喺冇品，心胸狹窄。

Twisted

Our Heavenly Father is not a sadist, He never wants us to suffer. He created the world for us to enjoy lives. That is what I believe. When you give birth to a baby, do you like to torture him or her and get pleasure? When you get a puppy, do you want him or her to starve or get hurt? What is the point of having them if you do not treat them well? Perverts!!!Do not tell me when I beat myself up I will get closer to God because I suffer like Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ has already taken the punishment for us. You torture others so as to make them "closer to God" means you do not believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross was good enough, you have to act god to add to it. You are a sinner anyway, who do you think you are?

罩島

COVID-19 outbreak has become so serious that I must have my own isolated island. Health is always the most important thing! Let me discuss with my 78 year old daddy who can barely provide for me.

疫情咁嚴峻，喺時候我擁有自己嘅隔離孤島喇，有乜嘢緊要得過健康嘅身體吖？等我同我78歲仲監硬養緊我嘅爸爸商量吓先。

偷糖

到底仲要爆幾耐呀，爆咗七個月冇得睇靚仔，好悶呀！我平時除咗食瞓痾冇咩細藝，冇老公冇男友，而家出親街就靜喺睇到藍白色一塊塊，簡直就剝奪我嘅人權。豬扒都有人權嫁噃！你唔好蝦我一塊塊唔識嘢噃！

COVID-19 stole all my eye candies! They have to return 7 times of what I have lost!

SPCA

我本人覺得打麻雀喺師奶做嘅嘢，我呢啲走在時代尖端嘅人喺唔會打嘅，妳直接俾錢我未得囉，洗咩我打到黑曬眼圈炙。再加上啲麻雀又冇得罪你，做咩無啦啦打人哋炙。

Stop beating up the sparrows, you idiots!

大屋

其實我呢啲四海為家嘅人二千呎都只喺掹掹緊，最好就無限大，話明喺四海當然仲要有無敵大海景風涼水冷啦。

The earth is my home, which includes ocean views and unlimited square feet of living space.

通便

請問你幾時方便可以同我通訊呢？

Could you tell me when are you going to be regular please?

夾餸

傀儡皇帝生個傀儡太子=筷子

難頂

咩叫朗誦？將啲字嘅高低音調轉曬嚟讀再吊高八度直至毛管豎起曬就係最高境界嘞。

What is recitation? It is when you switch the intonations of  phrases around and raise the pitch of your voice by an octave until you have goose bumps.

呃緊

Scammy: what a cute name.
Old 1000: a brand name
你是騙子：日本名

屎片

飲多啲水啦，你最近便秘呀！
你噏乜春呀？我都唔知幾暢通。
我網上都冇見你屙，唔算！

Drink more water, you have constipation!

What're you talking about? I'm always regular!

I didn't see your regularity online, that doesn't count!

Zooed

其實點解宜家呢個世代所有你做嘅嘢都好似要擺上網咁嘅呢？唔通。。。喺全民真人表演？精采精采。

I am wondering why we have to put everything we do online nowadays, is this an everybody's live show? Good show! Good show!

死咗

點激率喺高達100%嘅

點擊率喺高達100%嘅

They are killing my dead body.

球救

我呢度成日俾人入屋爆竊，又恐嚇，我已經報咗警好多次，再住落去會精神衰弱，同埋會損失更多嘅錢同財物。。。。。。。我冇錢，我阿爸78歲仲養緊我，住唔起啲貴地方 。。。。。。。好多晚瞓唔到幾個鐘，大家好來好去幫幫忙吖唔該。

走未

我喺度諗喺咪因為我呢度容易爆所以侷住我喺度俾人繼續偷繼續搶繼續有生命危險呢？

I am thinking is it because this place is easy to be broken into, that is why people trap me here to continue to be robbed and things stolen and get killed?

窒息

搬屋。吓吓吓。吓吓吓吓。

You move when you move or all your money will be removed.

慳水

樓下日日食臭豆腐，都唔知咩人嚟嫁1?

Who the hack are those people downstairs, why do day eat stinky tofu everyday?!

脂粉

醫學美容提提妳：想白裏透紅，可進食雲呢拿加士多啤梨雪糕，三對二比例，一星期七次，份量隨意，將妳啲脂肪變成粉紅色。

Aesthetic/Beauty Medicine: If you want to have fair and pink skin tone, you must consume vanilla and strawberry ice-cream at a 3:2 ratio seven times a week in your own desired dosages so as to turn your adipose tissues into pink color.

灰色

食咗雙重朱古力雪糕個人好似黑咗，一定要食翻啲三四重雲呢拿雪糕去彌補過失。

I got darker after eating double chocolate ice-cream, I must eat triple or quadruple vanilla ice-cream to make up for my mistakes.

相同

佢就大展拳腳
我就大剪拳腳
He is successful
I am suck-assful

便飯

Someone came into my place, stole one pack of my fish, made the center of my carrot soft and tasted weird and cracked whole bunch of my raw eggs.
被偷嘢清單 賊要七倍償還

職業

我做緊袋冇。

I am a female kangaroo without a baby. I am also a surrogate without a gate, so everything was stolen or robbed and all I have left is sur.....ZERO.

涼果

Good, they finally finished eating their stinky tofu!

睇吓妳吖沖涼沖到個地下濕晒！

私隱

我唔喺叫你睇實佢嫁咩？
睇緊囉！

 Watching VS Watching Over VS Guarding VS Peeking VS Stalking VS Invasion of Privacy VS Stealing Information

 

賴人

It's very smelly downstairs, maybe they are making stinky tofu or something.

沖涼啦好心妳!

山軀

點解半山區兒童豐衣足食山區兒童要捱餓？因為山區兒童要爬曬成座山, 要食好多先夠, 仲爬到啲衫爛曬, 而半山區兒童只喺爬一半山, 所以食少少就夠嘞, 因為冇咁多磨擦, 啲衫仲襟著啲添!

山寨

其實。。。點解山區同半山區有咁大分別，不過半山區理論上應該冇咁好，因為得一半炙。
The Hope Engineering: Everybody can have books to read.
FYI: I only read half of them because I ran out of money

愛尿

 我個仔整到我每次M到都瀨尿，我終於明白點解啦! 因為佢同我講過"我哋嘅愛情，大水不能熄滅。"
My son always makes me pee myself during my periods, I finally understand why. Because he told me "Big water cannot extinguish our love."

動機

唔好再食喇再食妳會死嫁！
我只係想食溶咗嗰啲咋噃，點知佢會愈嚟愈溶得多嫁炙！

 Stop eating or you'll die!

 I just wanted to eat the melting part, I don't know why it keeps melting more and more!

高完

大家同一階層(喺地理位置上), 佢哋做咩要害我炙？唔明噃!

We have the same status, geographically speaking, why do they want to harm me? I do not understand.

嗱!!!

做啲嘥嗱最緊要有中指

It is hard to sketch, draft, craft or to use the software without the middle finger as a designer.

我凋

謝花宴

提早謝

I have been waiting for a very short time, for the flowers to suddenly wither.
Certified Time:15:51 Certified Date: July 08, 2020.
Cause of death: physically removed from the source of water and nutrients by Homo sapien(s)
I didn't do it!!!

心地

樓上條友黑心到冇人有，我話只有眼前嘅嘢俾到我少少享受，即刻喺上面玩電鑽嘈怨巴閉。

The heart of my upstairs neighbor living in 20D is poisonous, I just posted on my blog that the only thing I can enjoy in my life is the little thing in front of me, he immediately started playing with the electric drill or screwdriver and made whole bunch of noise.

獻世

嚮我面前嘅睇聽食聞喺我僅有可以享受嘅嘢𤓓，關節韌帶又痛，又冇錢去旅痕，未嫁又唔搞得，望鏡又驚嚇親，真喺冇老。。。陰公，一餐唔知下一餐，今日唔知聽日事，住一間屋唔知有冇得住下一間。

Seeing, hearing, eating and smelling the things in front of me are the only enjoyments I have. My ligament or tendon hurts, I do not have money to travel, I am not married so I cannot have sex, looking into mirrors scares the hell out of me, poor single me, having one meal without knowing whether I  will have the next, living today without knowing what will happen tomorrow, living in this stall without knowing if I will have the next stall.

規律

食完正餐食副餐

After eating regular meals, we eat irregular meals.

運讀

I am so studious that I become a stud...NOT.
大懶強

紆尊

道MINI人

道成肉身

God minimized Himself to become a human

逃學

Studious students study in studios but not schools because they do not match.

活動教學

死因

我喺棺材生，喺讀死嘅。

I left all my books around without touching them, therefore the book worms ate all my books, then they bit me to death.

死法

以下内容喺由我同某親戚嘅Text Message度直接節錄，除咗人名用代號之外(我同佢哋咁講喺想死得自由啲，好過留响香港坐監死，因為我想住嘅地方我細佬唔批准，我冇錢交租，我阿爸俾筆錢我细佬幫我交，並且要我細佬幫我做決定):

AA，可唔可以送我返美國，我唔想再俾阿W同埋Y生種容阿W嚟控制我，我叫阿W將我之前借俾Y生筆錢還俾我佢都揸住唔放，Y生交咗俾佢叫佢還俾我, 我仲要最少一共800000交學費, 唔該幫幫忙,  D鄰居連你哋俾我D利是錢，Y生俾我D買餸錢都偷，香港唔喺俾我呢D窮人住，佢哋中意响我呢D乞兒兜度嗱飯食，你哋可唔可以俾筆錢我自己搞掂，咁就唔會煩到任何人，四十几歲人咩都要人批准好辛苦，香港人又唔俾我做嘢，赚到的士咁多又俾人偷埋，D屋又全世界最貴，點死呀？XXXX同屋企住，XX同屋企住到嫁有老公幫手，唔洗担心住屋問题，送我番美國美國D屋平好多，几倍，你哋都唔當我喺人，完全冇選擇， HK人中意爆格就爆格又偷又搶當冇事發生，留响度冇意思，HKD男人又醜樣又冇錢，同我差唔多年几都变晒老屎忽，又猥所，番嚟俾人摸胸摸蘿，大大條街响度扮迫，連性骚擾喺咩都唔知，破壞搗搗亂, 喺D樓度琴上琴落爬入屋，猩猩野獸，猥瑣，再咁落去我都會变猩猩，以獸抑獸，為咗自衛，完全失控。

重案

A woman screamed from the outside saying "let me eat all your ice-cream".

有個女人嚮出面大嗌話：等我食曬你啲雪糕先。

谷住

懷孕同懷冤嘅共通點，脹。

The common ground between a falsely accused and a pregnant woman is feeling swollen.

慰糕

食咗五份一盒雪糕令我感到好安慰。

I was finally comforted after eating one fifth of a box of ice-cream.

邏輯

我個仔戴咗條幻想手鏈嚮我隻手度仲話情定今生，又話條鏈喺佢阿媽留俾佢嘅，我好感動，差啲喊咗出嚟。我突然間變咗性，又或者做咗佢後母，又或者死咗，仲要愛上咗佢。

My son put an imaginary bracelet on  my wrist and said that was the proof of our love for life, then he said the bracelet was left for him by his mom, I was so moved that I started tearing up. However, I suddenly changed gender, or became his step mother, or I was basically dead, and I fell in love with him.

被郁

雖然我窮但喺我窮得冇骨氣，淨係得肉氣。因為我搜身愚辱，好被動。

I was moved, literally. Because I have been so poor that I have no right to control my body.

勝女

唔知邊度有女勝賀爾蒙賣同幾錢呢？

男勝賀爾蒙隨街都喺仲喺免費派發，你咁窮，攞男勝賀爾蒙啦，女嗰隻只喺有限量版嫁渣，妳買唔起嫁嘞，連廠商都執埋笠咯。
 We work like males but get paid like free males because we are females.
No money for you, honey, sorry.

遲熟

我老豆話佢太後生連頭髮都未出齊，之前等咗廿年，翻嚟又等咗佢兩年都未見一線曙光，睇嚟我啲嘅頭髮稀薄都喺冇希望㗎喇。正所謂女生外向，幫住啲電子精神攻擊者嚟踩個老豆賴遺傳，死女包。

My dad said he was too young to have full head of hair, yet. I waited for 20 years before, and I waited for 2 more after I came back, still did not see the light in the darkness. I guess it is hopeless regarding the thinning of my hair. Girls are " not loyal " because they eventually have to change their last names.That is why I step on my dad and blame genetics to cover up for the psychotronic attackers,  I am a bad daughter, a family betrayer.

死開

我很臭但我很瘟油

I am smelly, oily and plaguey.

港禿

光禿香港
時待髮命

The Bald Kong Revolution

冰圓

冰肥淋, 淋肥不亂。

Frozen...Fat, Let it go, Let it go, Let the fat fill up my body.

糖尿

我將粒瑞士糖擺咗嚮瑞士銀行個保險箱

I kept the Swiss Candy in my Swiss Bank safe deposit box.

滑扒

一毛畢拔，掹咗!

I just plucked the beard.

世紙

I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect 哈 Money!

唱錢吖唔該。

難改

硬頸八十八

Stiff Neck 88

頭婚

其實同矮仔拍拖都幾好吖，可以拉近距離。。。個頭，連毛孔同水嫩肌膚都睇得一清二楚，條頸又冇咁攰。真喺愛你嗰頭嘞！

In fact it is quite good to date a short guy, we can be intimate all the time.....especially the heads, I can see clearly even his pores and silky smooth skin, and my neck can be more relaxed. Love your head!

膏咗

雪糕消脂療程: 利用嶄新的納米科技雪糕壓制天然有機肥膏，將天然有機肥膏納米冰封及與身體各組織納米隔離，再納米排出體外，10次療程都只喺388蚊 。

Ice cream Fat Loss Program: using the latest nano tech ice-cream to inactivate natural organic fatty tissues by nano-tech freezing and nano-tech isolating them from lean body tissues, then the natural organic fatty tissues are removed from the body by natural metabolism nano-technologically. You will get 10 Ice cream Fat Loss Treatments for only $388.

好嘈

揈緊機，揈緊冷氣機。
Stereoing, Stereo-air-conditioning

瑞衣

蘇黎世: 羶得嚟又好細，居民以牧羊為生，每個晚上，他們數齊數目便能入瑞，非常枝竹。
乜唔喺耶穌嚟到呢個世界做我哋嘅代罪羔羊。。。咩？

折墮

人哋好食好住
我就乞食乞住

Theirs, abundant lives

Mine, a bunch of lice

不孝

我依家明白我老母生前有幾痛苦, 都喺我唔好。

My mom could probably escape earlier if I insisted to keep that sperm away from me. Swim off! Sperm!

特異

X-MEN

我啲前度們

MyX

I expect, they reject

EX 即喺過去唔會再發生嘅意思

FBYI

People came in and cracked at least 10 of my eggs, damaged my shoes and stole my money.
被偷嘢清單 賊要七倍償還

克嚇

被發佈變草稿

Turn a piece of paper into a tree.

鬼片

呢排瞓得唔好我連鏡都唔敢望，驚會醒住嚟發白日惡夢，但有個好處就喺出街買嘢唔洗帶環保袋，因為除身帶住兩個嘞，仲喺有機同埋黑色嘅，既天然又襟污糟。

I refuse to look in the mirror because I do not sleep that well recently, I am afraid to daydream nightmare while I am awake. The positive thing is I do not have to bring shopping bags when I go out because I am carrying two without even noticing them, and they are organic and dirt proof due to the black color.

夢想

要離開父母兄弟，與丈夫結合，二人成為一體，生養眾多，遍佈全地。

男友

貪佢嫩口

又夠就手

幫到我手

直財就手

高矮肥瘦

人有我有

擺明

啲差人好差呀

你又好又差咁

人哋好定差炙

話明差嘅人啦

你問嚟多餘嫁
Poo Lice

印擦

食交

唔洗嗌交就有嘢食，都幾好。

Ruining my voice is the price for getting some food sometimes.

民主

權力下放
全民皆警
備註：咁我啲PAYCHECKS同埋賠償呢？

FYI (Federal You of Investigation) used to be called FBI (Federal Bureau of Investigation)

Note: Thank you for your information, but where is my paychecks and compensations for injuries and thefts?

YI

啲有錢貪心成日爆格嘅鄰居又偷咗啲人哋用嚟接濟我嘅食物嘞, 講聲你哋知炙。

When will FYI become FBI 

When will Thieves become Prisoners

When will in-house-police become crime-scene-police

月圓

胖小夜曲

。。。分手以後無奈如舊人漸"消瘦"？。。。

The Fat Little Night Song
Or
The Fat Serenade
...whatever...

月巴

好沈重呀我而家個身情

My parts are heavy.

書包

人生得意須盡歡，莫使金樽空對月。

得些好意須回手，醉酒出事冇回頭。

再賺多啲又點炙，你妒忌牙？

喺妒忌又點呀？樹大招風呀！睇你幾時撻翻落嚟！

睇你幾黑心吖，仲有呀個樽裡面喺奶唔得㗎，講到我好似酒鬼咁。

將進"酒"喎！

咁《將進奶》囉，李"白"吖嘛，鈣同蛋白質呀，識唔識呀？
你喺咪以為自己好勁炙，你講嘅嘢喺人都知啦，好心唔好咁幼稚啦！

  

Once upon a time, there were two elementary school students had a fight by childishly throwing their schoolbags at each other. Their mommies finally came to pick them up from school and dragged them apart. They distracted them from the fight with some snacks and asked,'Milk or Juice, honey?'

肥姐

為咗防暴，我決定同自己起個字頭叫"肥妹", 專收肥靚妹, 嚇走曬啲男人，連劈友都慳番呀！仲可以慳埋買槍買其他架撐嘅錢同湯藥費添。得閒又可以約埋出嚟一齊煮吓飯仔開吓大食會發吓肉咁都唔知幾FREE呀。。。我哋將自己長到咁大都喺為咗自衛嗟。

In order to work against violence, I have decided to start a gang called "Fat Gal" and recruit fat gals, So we can scare the men away with our presences only and save the fights. We can even save the budgets on guns,  weapons and medical bills. When we have time we can cook, feast and grow even bigger together for self defense purposes. It sounds like a very good plan.

辜娘

我小學時好灰，中學時更灰，大學時非常灰，依家老咗極度灰頭髮灰眼袋灰印堂灰口唇灰仲做埋炮灰。

I was blue in elementary school, very blue in high school, super blue in college, now I am old and extremely blue in my life and my arms and my legs and my toes because I have been bullied and bruised.

耶羔

由於被告認罪悔改將佢嘅生命交俾耶穌基督, 本席宣判被告被判
罪名不成立, 被分別為聖, 當庭釋放。

The accused pleaded guilty to his crimes, he felt and expressed that he was remorseful and gave his life to Jesus Christ, I therefore find the accused not guilty, becomes a saint and he is discharged.

漫遊

講講吓我揾屋搬我老竇無啦啦話我細佬話我俾人拒絕咗。吓？唔怪得我最近𢯎晒頭啦！九唔答八！我搵到啲好嘅單位又唔俾我搬。應諗嘅嘢又唔諗，應講嘅嘢又唔講。都唔知個腦生咩咖？唔怪得香港住屋問題咁嚴重啦！

I was talking about looking for a new place to move into and my beloved father suddenly popped up a statement saying that my brother said that I was rejected. I was like, HUH? No wonder I have been scratching my head so much! They have totally lost the signal and error 404. I have found some super good apartments and they do not let me move into any of them, they have not even thought nor talked right! I am wondering what are living in their brains.They are the kind of people that causes such serious housing issues in Hong Kong.

鐵線

機場米線

迪士尼米線

東鐵米線

港島米線

觀塘米線

南港島米線

將軍澳米線

屯馬米線

東涌米線

西鐵米線

好舊

舊嘅嘢唔一定唔好，你睇我就知嘞。
上帝舊過我好多，但喺又好我好多。

Old stuff does not mean it is not good, look at me!

God is so much older but so much better than me!

除魔

我嘅分訊

I am merried.

頭條

頭躉瘡

The head of a school is a Principal

The head of the pimps is a Pimple

痛腳

我近排對腳原本已經負擔好超重，右邊膝頭哥仲俾人整傷埋，行路屈曲都會痛，簡直就喺二百以上加多幾十斤。唔該幫我奉主耶穌嘅名祈禱求上帝醫好我嘅重擔等我可以安息啦，唔該曬。

My legs have already been over heavy-laden recently, now my right knee is injured by somebody as well, it hurts when I walk and bend it, the burden is like landing a Boeing 747 on top of a cargo ship. Please pray in Jesus Name that God will heal me to lift my huge burden and give me rest. Thank you.

車醫

Sometimes you have to praise God for a flat tire.

如果你冇車的話車軚漏氣喺好事，唔信你問吓醫生吖。

氣球

都唔知點解個鏡頭影到我前日好肥尋日好瘦今日好肥今晚呢又好瘦喎，女人真喺善變嫁嘞!

I looked fat on camera 29-06-2020 day time

I looked fit on camera 30-06-2020 day time

I looked fat on camera 01-07-2020 day time

I looked  fit on camera 01-07-2020 nite time

Conclusion: Women are just flexible and unpredictable

 

Protect

Please pray that God will protect me and my belongings so that we will not be stolen, damaged, destroyed nor killed. In Jesus Christ Mighty Name. Thank you.

前途

我住嘅地方我冇自由選擇，無論我揾到幾好幾抵嘅單位我親愛嘅爸爸都會用唔喺理由嘅理由拒絕，不擇手段甚至講大話，仲要嚮人哋面前踐踏我嘅選擇，仲要大大聲話一定要我親愛嘅弟弟搵同做決定，佢唔記得我依家住咁多問題嘅地方都喺佢嘅決定，問都冇問我簽曬約交曬上期同租就搬咗我入去，我父親仲要賴我話我唔應該搬入去，而我親愛嘅弟弟話叫我唔好發夢，既然我冇錢就要聽曬佢話，而我親愛嘅爸爸就俾咗筆錢俾我弟弟"幫我"，我話俾佢聽啲看更通風報訊夾埋啲鄰居同外人爆我格，我弟弟都話啲看更信唔過但喺我父親堅持要有看更，個原因喺佢俾好多錢交管理費，我自己去睇單位有人故意撞傷我隻腳，啲街坊話我抵死因為我唔聽我弟弟話。香港人唔俾我做嘢等我困死同俾人控制住，問學校嘢佢哋睬都唔睬我仲話想趕我出個program, ，佢哋應該唔記得我之前已經交咗好多錢學費，叫佢哋澄清佢哋唔回應，好可能就喺因為我學校多年嚟咁對我搞到我變窮光蛋之餘仲搞到冇人信我。啲電子攻擊撒旦教徒同撒旦助手傷我身體，嚮我身上加嘢減嘢留疤痕整痛我偷我資料24小時監察我將我私人生活資料公開宣佈偷錢偷嘢爆格破壞我財物陷害我破壞我名譽等我冇工開仲想呃我俾唔出嘅錢。佢哋嚮2004年已經開始集體跟蹤我同偷我公開我資料，到現在仍然繼續。
I cannot choose my own living place, no matter how good my choice is, my beloved father uses some unreasonable reasons to ban it, he tries everything and even lies in order to achieve that purpose. He steps on my decisions in front of people, and said it loudly that my beloved younger brother has to be the one who finds it and makes the decision. My father forgets that the problematic place I am living currently is also my brother's decision. My brother did not even ask me, signed the contract and used my dad's money to pay for the deposits and rents and just moved me in. My dad blamed on me that I should not have moved in at the first place. My beloved brother told me not to dream about making my own choice. He said, "because you do not have money you have to listen to me."  And my dad gave my brother certain amount of money to "help me". I told them the security guard had been watching over for and passed along the messages to my neighbors and strangers so that they could break into my place. Even my brother said those security guards were not trustworthy. But my dad insists that the place I am going to live has to have security guards in the building, the reason is he always pays lots of building management fees for that. I walked to look at some of the apartments myself and someone purposely crashed a wheelchair into me and hurt my foot, people in the neighborhood said I deserved the injuries because I did not listen to my brother. Hong Kongers do not allow me to work in order to trap and control me. When I acquired information from my school, they totally ignored me and even told me they wanted to kick me out of the program, they forgot that I already paid them lots of money for tuition. I asked them to clarify, they did not even reply. It must be because of my school treating me like that for years, I have become so broke and nobody even trusts me. Psychotronic weapons, satan, satanists and satan's helpers hurt my body, add and take away things from my body, leave scars, induce pain, steal my information, monitor me 24/7, expose my private life and information, steal my money and belongings, break into my place, damage and destroy my belongings, slander me, frame me, ruin my reputation so that I do not even have a job, people even try to trick me to pay something that I cannot afford. Since 2004, the gang-stalking, stealing and publicizing of my information have already started and they are still happening as of today.

入定

房部景園
防捕竟完

Housing Gardening Resting Ending

奸商

我去報攤同個嬸嬸講話要本藍皮書，個嬸嬸唔肯俾我，仲將啲書收埋，我當時好嘍，我話藍精靈同Avatar我喺電視同DVD成日睇咖啦，點解唔俾我買喎，個嬸嬸話呢啲藍皮唔同嗰啲藍皮，跟住我話我行走江湖八年，有咩未見過吖，唔好話妳自私收埋啲好嘢俾自己睇唔俾人睇！

I went to the newspaper stand and asked the old lady for a Playboy Magazine, she refused to give it to me, she even hid the books, I was very angry, I told her I played video and computer games all the time so I am a play boy myself, why can't I read about other play boys as well! The old lady said this play boy was different from that play boy, then I said every boy played and we were all play boys, I had 8 years of life experience already and I had seen everything, that was just her excuse to keep something good to herself, what a selfish woman!

皮吱

我細個時人哋話男皮書有吱吱睇咖，佢哋話啲吱吱仲要好大添，個啲男人一定喺成日健身咖嘞。
When I was little, people told me that  Playboy Magazines showed lots of bare chests, and those chests were huge.  Those boys must have worked out a lot.

踭仔

我喺老泥妹呀！

Over my dead skin body!